Why do I always feel like writing when I'm pensive and a little blue? Maybe because it helps me sort out my feelings and know up from down.

I actually have work to do today, but I don't want to do it. I've only been a work for an hour, but already I just want to go home and be in my husband's arms. It's such a safe comforting place, and right now I need a safe place. There's so much going on, so many changes happening and coming. It's hard not knowing how different aspects of our lives are going to work out, especially when we're trying to plan for a new life too. It seems like so much responsibility, and some days, today, it seems so overwhelming and impossible. There's a part of me that so wishes we had all our ducks in a row, or at least a plan to get them there, and we're really ready for this.

But are we ever really ready for what life and God send our way? Are we ever really prepared for the next step when it gets here? I know this little boy is going to change everything. I know there are people who would look at us and say we're not being responsible, and yes, there are days I wish we were better prepared. But the Bible says that children are a blessing from the Lord, and we have asked the Lord to bless and build our house, who are we to question if He chooses to answer that prayer a little differently than we would have thought. The Lord promised us before we were even married, "If you build My House, I will build yours." Who are we, or anyone else, to question if He fulfills His promise to build our house in the traditional, Biblical sense instead of the American Christian church way of thinking, if He chooses to expand our influence through the children He give us instead of through the things and possessions He gives? Doesn't He see the sparrow fall? Don't I believe the promise that the children of the righteous will never go hungry or beg for bread?

Lord, I trust You! I choose to place my trust and faith completely in You! You have never failed me, never left me alone, I can see your plan working itself out in the way the strands of my life have woven together. You have given me a good job, a beautiful place to live, and a wonderful husband who is so much more than I deserve. I know that all good things come from Your hand and that You will continue to provide in ways far beyond my imagination. Shore up my faith where it is weak, and fill me with new faith. Faith that honors and glorifies You as the great, majestic, and all-powerful God You are. I live to bring glory and honor to Your name. That is the very reason I was created. Help me to do that with all of my heart, soul, and strength, to pour myself into You, as You have poured Yourself into me.